First Therapy Dog meeting tomorrow....

Well the sun has come out the last few days, so I am a happier camper. I have used this week to network with other counselors and pastors. Some of them may become referral services when I start a counseling practice in this area.

Tomorrow, is the first meeting of the Sacramento Area Pet Therapy meetup group. I started it on-line. We now have over 22 members and 12 of us are meeting for the first time. If you want to see where we are going with it click here....

If you want to know what helped lead up to starting a group like this then read on.

This article I wrote awhile back. I call it "Doggone Theology".

When I was a child I wanted to be a pastor when I grew up. Our family went to church 3-4 times a week. It was my extended family. In fact, I lived the first 6 years of my life upstairs from the church we attended. In those days the tax law said all real property under the same roof as the church was tax free in Chicago where I grew up.Therefore, many churches had houses or apartments connected to the church building in order to avoid taxation on the church parsonage.

The first man I remembered wanting to be like, was the pastor of the church, who lived downstairs. He died, when I was 9 years old. I still think he has a strong influence on my life to this day.

When I graduated from High School, I went to a Bible College to become a pastor. I dropped out and joined the army during the Vietnam War. Four years later I went back and finished my seminary education.I was a pastor in four churches over a 12 year period.

Some say I was successful. However, I was depressed and miserable. Today I am not a member or regular attender of "church". I consider much of the form and practices of regular church goers at best insignificant. I tried over the past 7 years to visit a plethora of churches. Each time I did, I went away often thinking “that was a waste of time”. Many times I left feeling depressed or disgusted.

Yet, I consider myself a deeply spiritual man and a Christian elder. Today, I claim to know a lot less about God, then I thought I did when I was a pastor. In fact one of the few things I know for sure is that I am loved by God.

It took two dogs to really teach me that concept. Yep, I will explain my new “dog gone” theology, but first a little more background.

In 2002 after 12 years of being a pastor and then 10 years of being a psychotherapist and professor, I quit everything, bought an RV and traveled for most of the year with my wife, wondering what we were going to do for the rest of our lives.

Over the past 22 years I lost most of my money to a bad business deal, was cheated out of our life savings by my best friend, and had a business partner swindle me out of my half of a business. We had raised and launched two great kids to adulthood.

I had helped a lot of people, but I felt burnt-out, overstressed and wanted to isolate myself from everyone, but my personal family.After a year traveling all over the U.S. in our RV my wife Caren found a highly significant career in the health care field as the program manager of a large outpatient hospital program.

I taught part-time at a community college and began a mentoring program where I volunteered for a year helping people, who wanted to begin a computer consulting business. Many of them have their own business today because of that mentoring program.After the RV trip, even though I did the mentoring program, which was primarily skills based, the people helping part of me, and the “God sensitive” part of me felt like a void.”

My depression was again very strong in my life and my emotions felt frozen.Then Caren came home with a little dog named Pokey, that became my best friend, for the next two years. Every time I came home, he was genuinely thrilled to see me.When I was depressed, he could cheer me up with his acceptance and his devotion to me.

He and I traveled in our RV to many places. There was really no place I went for those two years that he didn’t go. He waited in the RV, or in the car for me, when I went into some place, he was not allowed.

Then at the end of January, of this year, I helped our daughter and son-in-law move to Sacramento, by taking care of their two dogs for three weeks at our home. Then Pokey, and I went to their new home, to help them move in.

That evening as we walked to the RV, Pokey who always walked by my side, suddenly ran into the street and was hit by a speeding car, who didn’t even stop.

I found myself lying over his lifeless body in the middle of the street wailing and unable to even move. When I could move I lifted his lifeless body, to the side of the street, and knelt over him crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

Then, after confirming his death, I drove the RV 600 miles home crying and sobbing almost the entire way. (From midnight to 9 a.m.)I don’t know how I even was able to see much of the time, let alone drive that distance.

My great wife Caren stayed on the phone with me the whole time and was the reason I had to drive that distance. I had to be with her, and she needed me.We comforted each other the entire weekend and spent much of it crying and remembering Pokey.

A couple of friends called concerned for me and even told me they were thinking of giving me their dog. Even though that was huge and genuine for them, I didn’t want another dog, I wanted Pokey! I thought I would never have another dog. He was more like a friend then a dog to me.

My good friend Gary and I use to talk about theology, God, and life and I often told him Pokey taught me more about grace and unconditional love, then all the church attendance, years of theological training, and hundreds of books on the subject, I have read.

He simply loved me, regardless of how I felt, or what I had accomplished that day. I was the most important thing in his life when he saw me. That to me was what God’s love and “church” was supposed to be about. I had learned the greatest message about God from a dog!

This two year lesson was just the beginning of my new theology……

For the next couple of weeks after Pokey’s death I moped around the house playing a little on-line poker and not doing much else. Every time I went to sleep, I saw in my mind the tragic scene of his death.

During those weeks I gained an even greater compassion for our military men and women who face issues of post traumatic stress disorder, and I marveled at the healing power that enable parents who lost children to heal and continue on with life.

One of our best friends Jane had her 90 year old mother stay with her for a week with her “mom’s” two dogs. One of them was especially mean to their new little puppy Coco. Coco also had a disgusting habit of eating feces, hers and other dogs. She became very sick with vomiting and was unable to keep food down from something she must have caught from one of the other dogs.

I volunteered to watch Coco for the rest of the time Jane’s mother was visiting and to nurse Coco back to health. I took her to the Vet and made her a special diet to help combat her stomach disorder. Coco loved me and I found myself being comforted by her. She had known Pokey, and had visited for a few days back in December, when I was taking care of my daughters two dog.

Whenever, I cried remembering Pokey, Coco would lick my face. I discovered it is impossible to cry in grief, and laugh at the same time. I use to say to her "did Pokey tell you to do that”?

One day Jane’s husband Gary opened the door at my home and Coco ran out. She began running down the alley toward a busy street. We called her, and she only ran faster down the alley right toward a street with a blind corner and many cars. I was sick inside, and saw in my mind Pokey’s death and couldn’t believe I was going to witness another one.

At the last moment she veered to the left onto the sidewalk without crossing the street and stopped and came back to me. I picked her up, crying and holding her to my chest. She was unaware of the trauma and tragedy that had just been avoided.She needed to stay a few more days to finish her medications and her special diet. I wanted her to stay forever, but she wasn’t our dog, and Jane’s 5 year old granddaughter had a special relationship with her.

I didn’t know it at the time but Jane’s granddaughter, her, and Gary had been talking about my loss with Pokey and how it had affected me.The day before Coco was to go back to her home, Jane called and talked to my wife Caren.

Later that day when I called home to let Caren know I was on the way home, she told me there was a surprise for me when I got home.When I asked her what it was? She told me Jane and Gary had given me Coco. I could hardly believe it!

Beside this being an expensive little dog, there were many, many, reasons why this would be a very difficult decision for Jane to make.

I rushed home and cried again with Coco, but this time my tears were mainly tears of happiness.

She licked them and made me laugh just the same.

Now the theological moral of the story, I have never been much of an emotional person. I didn’t cry at my own father’s death or the deaths of guys I knew in the service, when I was in a hostile fire zone and they were killed.

The last few years my spiritual sensitivity and my emotions had seemed frozen. Pokey was a gift from God, that taught me about unconditional love and acceptance. Coco was a clear lesson to me about what Grace really means.

Grace is provision. A provision that is not earned. It is paid for by someone else.

It is purely a gift, given out of unconditional love.

God loved me enough to give me the capacity to love a little dog named Pokey, and gave that dog the capacity to teach me a great theological fact.

That truth that I am loved and accepted unconditionally!

Then God used another little dog to teach me that he will provide for me, purely out of His love for me. That provision was neither earned, nor accomplished by my efforts. It is simply what God does for us.

My hope for you, is that you know, or come to know, that unconditional love, grace that is relevant for all your loss or fears.

Those are two of the greatest theological lessons I recently learned, taught to me by two little dogs.

What happened to the Sun?

When we went to the Sharks game last Tuesday, that is the last time we saw clear skies. The sun has been overcast by fog and clouds these last 5 days.

Help, I need the sun.

When we drove through Dublin we looked up the house we lived in 30 years ago. It is still a nice house. We met the owner, who was outside working on his home and he was nice enough to let us look in the backyard. It was just like we remembered it. A porch with a huge backyard. We lasted there about 9 months. Then we moved to Ukiah to pastor a church.

We had just moved from Minnesota. Carrie was 15 months old and just learning to walk. She loved the "outside". We moved in March so this "outside" was very different then the one she was in a week ago. In fact one of her first words was "ahsside". "Ahsside" was exciting. Here is the actual porch that she ate a snail, that was "running" for his life. Well, actually she ate only "half" a snail.

Last Sunday Carrie was feeling well enough to go to her church, so we took her to the second service. Her husband David is the Worship leader.

Caren and I have enjoyed meeting Earl & Nancy. They serve as the Pastor's at Cornerstone Church in the Arden area of Sacramento.

I have enjoyed coffee and conversations with Earl a couple of times at Starbucks and here Caren is chatting with Nancy.

I think I have told you all before about Grace & Mercy, but I don't think I have posted any pictures of them. Here is Mercy wearing the coat with Coco and Grace is the brown one.

We enjoy them very much, and they are all getting along a lot better then when we first arrived. Grace and Coco couldn't figure out who was in charge, but they seemed to have worked it out.

Now if only the sun would come out.....

Live from Sacramento it's "Animal House"

Wednesday, I spent much of the day developing the Sacramento area Pet Therapy meetup group and website. Because we recently moved to a new town, and we are also new at training Coco to be a “Therapy Dog”, I decided to combine both of our needs into one effort. This group will help us in training Coco and meeting new people in our community. There has already been a great response and interaction on the website. I scheduled our first face to face meetup meeting for next Saturday. We already have 14 rsvps.! It should be a lot of fun.

If you get a chance, check out our community meetup website I am developing.

I spent the rest of the day playing poker on-line. I took a break and went out to check out a couple of less expensive long term storage places for my RV. The place we have it in now, is so close and nice, but if I drive a few miles, I can save half the monthly fee. I discovered some RV storage places have high tech and the latest equipment. Some have ancient facilities and junkyard dogs that guard the place at night. They are probably both just as effective. Though, I would rather try to hack into a high tech security, then try to subdue junk yard dogs. Lol.

Thursday was a “dog day”. I took Grace and Mercy for shots and their annual physical. Coco had her nails done, while I ran errands most of the day. I made for our dinner meal, a "speciality" an old friend used to always make us when we went to his home for dinner. Spaghetti & Fried Chicken.
Caren shopped all evening and took a much needed break from the duties of the house and assisting Carrie’s health issue. Please keep praying for Carrie, this is really hard on her.

Caren had the privilege of attending a gala social event for women at the “The Gathering Place” in Folsom. I called Phil to see if he wanted to “hang out” during the women’s event and found myself “roped into” being one of the food serves at the event Caren was attending. It was fun to work with the other guys, and I got a great meal out of it.

My son-in-law David had never been to a live hockey game. He was going to attend one with us last xmas in Las Vegas, but Carrie got sick and he stayed in the hotel room with her. Last Tuesday I went to a Sharks game with Jonathan. So,when I heard Sac State’s Ice Hockey team played only a few miles from our house David and I, went to the 9:30 p.m. game between Sac State and UC Davis.

It was a lot of fun. If you consider being jammed packed and having to stand the whole time shoulder to shoulder with drunk coeds and college guys fun. They screamed the whole time, taunted each other, yelled obscenities and some of them might have fallen down drunk, but since we were so jam packed nobody fell down. It was like being trapped in a live National Lampoon Animal House movie. It was a lot of fun, we are planning on going back next Friday.

Jobless and Homeless

Tuesday….

Dec 2nd 29 years ago very early in the morning on a cold winter night we were driving a winding lonely stretch of U.S. 101 following the Russian River from Ukiah to Healdsburg, in Northern California hoping Caren would not give birth to Jonathan before we made it to the hospital. We made it with a couple of hours to spare.
So today we are driving to San Jose to pick up Jonathan and take him to a Sharks Game. Two of his favorite things in life, beside his computer and snowboard, is eating steak and watching the Sharks. We enjoyed dinner is at the Black Angus.

Jonathan had a minor accident with his motorcycle the other day. That is the bad news. The good news is except for scratches, and scrapes, twisted ankle and a big road rash he is fine.

We were able to use his accident as a benefit at the Sharks game. Because we had decided to go so late, and they are having such a good season, and I am cheap, we ended up with tickets up in the upper, upper deck.

Jonathan is on crutches so that was going to be a little challenging for him. I talked with one of the head ushers at the stadium. They were so nice they relocated us to the private season holder boxes area and set us in great seats 12 rolls up from the ice. My 40 dollar a seat on-line ticket purchase turned into $300 a seat tickets in the private area where waitresses came to our seat to ask us what we would like to order.

The best part of this story is it turned out to be a great game. The Sharks scored in the first 2 minutes of the first period and they won a very exciting game 5-2

After dropping Jonathan off at home we found ourselves driving early in the morning on a lonely road the 120 miles back to Sacramento reflecting on the day today and that day 29 years ago. We thanked God for a great son, these two great days in our life and we both expressed how we felt very rich with myriad life experiences.

So what if we are jobless and homeless? We are rich beyond measure.

Giving Thanks...

Thanksgiving Week at our Daughter’s home.

Monday began with another Dr. visit for our daughter. She has been fighting an infection that needs to be clear for a couple of weeks before she can have the operation she needs.

Would you consider saying a prayer for her? She has been on bed rest and disability for over 6 weeks. She is a very active person and it is very hard on her. Tuesday was spent cleaning her home and her bedroom for her. Wednesday and Thursday her husband and her, were able to go to Lake Tahoe while she enjoyed a change of scenery from her bed. They really enjoyed themselves and were able to stop Friday at Dave’s parents home for a late Thanksgiving dinner with them.

Our son Jonathan came up to spend Thanksgiving at Carrie & Dave’s home while we “dog sat” their two dogs Grace & Mercy. I made a big Thanksgiving turkey in a new electric roaster we bought for this holiday.

You know the rest of the story. We ate too much, moaned, laid around the house, saying next year we won’t eat so much…blah blah blah.

Friday we took the dogs to a dog park in Citrus Heights. Carrie’s dogs don’t get out too much so they acted a little frightened at first but they warmed up after awhile. The next day we took them back again with Dave & Carrie and Grace had a lot of fun. Mercy was still not so sure about it.

Sunday we visited “The Gathering Place” in Folsom and met some old friends. It has been many years since we saw Paul and Linda Samples and Paul Jones. Phil & Donna Jones our good friends here in Sacramento were having their new twin grandchildren dedicated at church. We enjoyed pizza at the park with all of their extended families and joking told others we were “adopted” members of their family. Phil and Donna have been so gracious to invite and include us in many special events.

Speaking of special events we got a huge surprise in the mail.

We received a card with several pictures of a little boy we took into our home under severe circumstances 23 years ago. We had received a phone call from a mother unknown to us who was abandoning her 8 year old son, Matthew, because she didn’t know what else to do. She was in an abusive relationship with a man who wasn’t his father . The same night she called we found ourselves driving 60 miles to San Francisco to pick him up on a street corner and take him into our home. A few weeks later his biological father contacted us and wanted him. I was able to provide him with counseling and parenting training and reunite him with his father. Then within a year his biological father and mother got back together and they have raised him and his younger brother and sister these last 23 years.

“Out of the blue” they tracked us down, wrote us a Thanksgiving Thank You card and sent us pictures of their family who now lives in Oregon. We were so overjoyed and grateful. We had often wondered what happened to Matthew. Caren often prayed for him when she thought of him. He is a handsome 31 year old man and we may have the chance to meet him the next trip we take to Oregon.

Our son-in-law who is a worship pastor makes fun of us for enjoying the Gaithers and Old-Fashioned gospel quartet music. So he found this on-line for us... you may enjoy it.. We sure did.

Make sure you turn your sound up......

Sleeping by the Eel River

After leaving Ferndale and the Redwoods we decided to park by the Eel River and take a little nap. The amount of choices you have when traveling by RV is awesome. We love the freedom we enjoy. We find the journey becomes our destination.

I forgot to tell about being back in San Diego. I flew down and my friend Gary who had just had his 2nd heart attack, with no permanent heart damage, (Thank God) picked me up just 3 days after his heart attack. I stayed with them a couple of days and got to visit with their granddaughter Sofia.

Then I drove back to Sacramento in time to spend the weekend with Caren. We got to visit our friends Phil and Donna and visit their church the “Gathering Place” in Folsom, California. Then afterwards we got to meet some great new friends Mark and Mynda.

So far we are loving the move from San Diego to Sacramento. But, San Diego still has a more beautiful skyline.

Take a drive through the Redwoods....

Avenue of the Giants - A Destination Vacation: This world-famous scenic drive is a 31-mile portion of old Highway 101, which parallels Freeway 101 with its 51,222 acres of redwood groves. It is by far the most outstanding display of these giant trees in the entire 500 mile redwood belt and is accessible to all with convenient services provided along the way. The Avenue of the Giants is surrounded by Humboldt Redwoods State Park which has the largest remaining stand of virgin redwoods in the world.

Whenever we drive through Humboldt Country we also take a detour and drive the ave of the Giants. It is truly a "magical place".

We didn't take this video but it shows the place we love to drive.

We pressed on and stopped in Willits for gas and dinner. Then we drove across to Lake County and spent the night at the Robinson's Rancheria area. Tomorrow we head back for our daughter and son-in-laws home in Sacramento.

Ferndale Today...

Woke up at Bear River Casino and headed toward the Redwoods. Just as we were to get on the US 101 south ramp I saw a sign for Ferndale and we made a quick decision to make another trip detour. It was one of those great decisions.

What a jewel Ferndale, California is. It is filled with old Victorians and is a great place to visit. Caren browsed in all the little shops on Main street, while I sat across from the Post Office in the sun and smoked a cigar.

I think I saw half the town go into the Post Office by the time Caren finished browsing. I think the old guy, sitting on a chair, smoking a cigar, added to the ambience of the town that morning because I was greeted cheerfully by many people.

Caren examines a little Victorian house.

We had lunch at Poppas. It was great, I had the blue plate special a corned beef sandwich with coleslaw while Caren had homemade Cabbage soup.

The morning and afternoon was like being in that Twilight episode when he longed for an earlier more peaceful time and when he got off his commute train he found himself in a town 50 years past. We didn’t want to leave, but the Redwoods, the “greatest place” on earth still beckoned us so we fondly said goodbye to Ferndale and headed down US101 to the Avenue of the Giants.