Tournaments day....

Today began by me driving up to Viejas Casino for a $200 buy-in tournament. The tournament was scheduled to begin at noon and I heard it does sell out, so I arrived about 10 a.m. It was already sold out. I became alternate number 87. Meaning, that when people get knocked, out an alternate may come in, up to about the first hour of the tournament. I got in with about 3 minutes to spare. There were 440 people in the tournament and I played well until I was knocked out in about 78th place. I spent a lot of time analyzing my play afterwards and felt pretty good about. For quite awhile I wondered if my last hand was played the best I could have.
Here is the hand and the reasoning.....

The blinds were about to go up to 4 & 8 k. I needed to make something happen soon to gain some chips or I was going to be in danger of being "blinded out".

The blinds had gone to 2 & 4,000. I was three in front of the big blind. The first two checked and I went all-in 12k with a pair of fours and was called by a player 2 to my left with AK diamonds.

The flop came Jd, 7s, 5h, I was ahead, but I didn't want an Ace or King to come. The turn came Qd & the river 8d. He had made a runner-runner flush! After I thought about it, I realized he had made a good call. I actually had a little more then him so I ended up with 1500 in chips and got to play two more hands. One I won and the next I lost. I had to play all in on my big blind because I actually had less then the amount of the big blind. I didn't have to play my small blind but everyone checked to me and I had a pair of 6's. So I bet the 6k I had won on my Big Blind pot. However, the Big Blind who called me had a pair of 8's.

Nothing that came improved either hand so I was out. I am wondering if it would have been better for me to only call or slightly raise the 4's. Then when the flop didn't look good for AK I could have pushed all-in and he might have folded. But, I don't think, I would have, if I was him. He had a number of "outs".

Regarding my all-in bet it is usually much wiser to not put in two or three smaller bets when you are planning on going all in by the river. The big all-in bet has much more power in most circumstances.

The total payout for the tournament was over 80K and 1st would have paid 20,000. I would have liked a piece of that. I am looking forward to my first "big" tournament win. So far 2,500 & 1,000 have been my largest tournament cashouts.

Then I drove down to Sycuan and played 2 hours of No Limit until the evening tournament started. The buy-in was $65 and I just won a little more then that the two hours before the tournament began at 1/2 N/L

I played almost three hours in this tournament and from a field of about 200 made it to number 37.

I played well until I made a "big mistake". I had lost a couple of hands and my stack had seriously been chopped down to 7,000 The blinds were 1 & 2,000

I was the Big Blind. Everyone checked to the small blind who raised it to 7K.

Here is where I made my mistake. I have played many times with the small blind, and knew he would try to steal. He is a very loose player. He and I had tangled over a couple of hands already. I had "bluffed" him out of a pot where I had to show my cards because an "all-in" player was in the hand. So I knew he was "gunning" for me for a number of reasons. I looked down and saw K8 off-suited. I didn't think he had anything. He raised my blind to 7,000 (the amount I had left). So I called putting my whole tournament at risk, on a "not so good" hand and with out any evidence to support my belief that he was on a bluff.

He showed a pair of 6's when we turned over the cards. I was encouraged when the flop came an 8, then a Jack, then I saw his third 6 flop. I was almost as "good as dead" when the river brought him a 4th six!

Well, that was memorable and as I drove home I thought over and over about how I played that hand. I played it very badly because I could have waited for the blind and small blind for better cards. Even if no good cards came I would have 4,000 left and I would have up to 9 more hands to choose from before I had to bet. Secondly, I acted on a "belief" that I had no data to support. and thirdly I didn't have to quickly slam in my last 5,000. I could have taken my time and thought all this though.

But, I didn't.

Now today there is a theme here for me to learn from. In both hands I went all in out of fear I would be "blinded out". And I have been in the past. But I wasn't fully in the "moment today. Both times today I could have waited two to four more hands for something better. I needed more patience or better hands to play them when I did.

I know a few weeks ago I "corrected" some really tight play in tournaments and resolved to become slighty more aggressive. However, I think I "over corrected" and loosened up in the wrong place". So I will adjust again, based on both of those things that I have learned about my tournament play.

I am pretty tired, from almost 7 hours of tournaments, counting the on-line, one table tournament I just lost $20 at while, writing this blog.

Oh yeah, I also played 4 hours of cash games no-limit. Guess it was a very full day of poker.

I still really enjoyed it and look forward to continuing to think through today's. I am resolving to play better tomorrow.

Any thoughts would be appreciated. I can be emailed at dave.dillman@yahoo.com

Thanks for sharing this with me......

Midnight thoughts.....

Riding the bus actually works out quite nicely. I read the paper on the way. I slept on the way home. It leaves my neighborhood at 4:15 p.m. and I arrive with enough time to play an hour of poker before the evening tournament starts. Depending on what time I get "knocked out" of the tournament I have about 4 hours to play more poker before the bus loads for the return trip. I think the tournament finishes right before the bus leaves so even if I win it, I should be ok. If not, I do have a backup plan. Every hour the casino provides a shuttle to the San Diego Trolley. I can take the Trolley to about 1/2 mile away from where I leave my car to catch the bus.

The bus is free and I am saving gas money, and not even having to drive the 60 miles round trip by using this method.

Tonight I played at the 5/10 No Limit table and the first hand caught pocket kings. An A/Q called my $75 raise, I was on the button and I think he thought I was trying to steal the $35 raise he made. By the river my entire $200 buy-in was all in, on the very first hand! My kings stood up and I doubled up. Then for the next 3 hours I didn't have a hand to play. Twice I had little pocket pairs and called a small raise because 3 or 4 players called in front of me. But, the flop never tripled me, so I threw them in both times. One complete hand played and two flops seen in almost 4 hours. "Whoever said it "takes a lot of patience" to play hold-em well, was sure accurate. The three hours of blinds knocked a hundred off my win, but I still left up a $100

As I drove home, about a mile from the bus stop, a glance at my watch reveals it is a little after midnight. My neighbors and wife are all asleep and I am just getting home. It brought back memories of working full-time and going to college at night. Then working full-time and driving 150 miles twice a week in order to earn my graduate degree in psychology. They call what I am doing now "playing" and it is what I want to do, but sometimes it seems very lonely and is hard work. The well-known quote, I think attributed to Johnny Moss is "it is a hard way to make an easy living...."

Then why do I do it? Because I love it, and love the challenge and the freedom of doing this.

I am persuing my passion.... will it work out for me? Keep reading and I will keep writing and we will both discover it together.......

Is this really a zero sum game?

I am balancing my family life and poker life as well as I know how. There are a few challenges and I wonder about all the others who do it.

I heard a horrible joke yesterday at the poker table.

Question... What do you say do a professional poker player? answer..."17th & Main please..."
(It will take a while to get it... but I think it means most professional players end up driving a cab in Vegas.) What a dismal thought. My dad never supported our family and the "best" job he ever held, when he held a job, was driving a cab.....

But back to the family and poker. Annie Duke's husband is very supportive and she works hard at being a good mom. She has reported she is tired from the challenges of both. When you hear her talk about it you hear some of the regret for what she has missed in her kid's lives.

My situation is very different. Both my children are grown and on their own. They get about as much of me as they want. (grin)

My wife is very supportive and is working hard at her career and making sacrificies to support my "dream". We have been married 34 years and have a great relationship. However, she works a traditional job and I am still in bed 4-6 hours after she get's up in the morning. Also the best times to play Poker are Friday nights weekends when she would like to be with me.

Sometimes, she comes with me in the RV to the Casino, but it can be pretty boring in a Casino Parking lot, even with a bed, TV, Kitchen and reading. Sometimes she will play some machines, but doesn't enjoy it when it is real crowded. Of course that is Friday night and weekends.

I try to be more attentitive and do more around the house so her experience of coming home is more pleasant but we are experiencing a strain and a challenge. It is difficult making some of these accomodations for both of us.

Caren is excellent at communicating and is sharing some of her mixed feelings of being both happy for me, and resenting me for this choice.

I am getting ready to catch a bus that actually comes to my neighborhood and picks up people at 4:00 p.m and returns them at about 11:30 p.m. I am planning on riding the bus tonight to "save the driving & gas expense".

Well, I gotta run and catch a bus.... more about this later......

Time Gaps.....

I am amazed that my last post was on the 5th and today is the 17th.

I had a very discouraging week and had about 9 days of losing poker. I am doing my best at continuing to play as well as I know how, but I have been "fighting" with self-doubt that I will ever make it as a "winning professional". It is amazing the amount of "demons" I find in myself that come out when I have a number of losses in a row. (My demons, are critical "inner voices & depression, and negative thoughts about the future) However, I am still doing my best to play my best "outer game" and attempt to win the "inner game" too.

I took the RV to Sycuan Casino on Martin Luther King eve and played an evening tournament and the holiday tournament. Didn't place well in either one of them. Though, on this trip, I had three different playing scenarios that encouraged me and I can look at as "evidence" that I can make it.

Sunday night within a few hours of starting my two days of poker, I lost $500 of the $600 (by two "bad beats" & a "bad call by me") that I took with me as my "bankroll" for this trip.

Because I only have a "total bankroll" of $10,000 I try to risk no more then 6-10% of it each trip. Because I have access to many places to play near my home. I also set a "stop loss amount" (the amount, I take with me to the casino) and I avoid using the ATM to add to my cash when I am at the casino. That is part of the disipline I impose on my poker playing along with not playing any house games like Blackjack, craps, or slot machines.
So I went to bed in the RV in the parking lot, about midnight, and set the alarm to wake up in time for the 10 A.M. tournament.

Now, I had planned on being there all day Monday, MLK day until late into the evening and the buy-in for the 10 a.m. tournament was $35. That will leave me $65 to play on all day after the tournament. It might become a very short day of poker. But, I do have a novel with me, along with two poker books to study, and since I am only 35 miles from home I do have a few options if I lose my $65.

However, I am committed to playing as much as I can, and playing the "best poker" I know how to. So after getting knocked out of the morning tournament (with pocket kings of course) I go back to the RV for an hour long nap.

After walking back to the casino I sit down at a N/L table where the minimum buy-in is $50 and for the next 8 hours "grind" my $65 buy-in up to $500 (So, my 1st "evidence" I can utilizeto support my belief, (that I can be successful) is the steady "grind-up" on a no-limit table.)

At about 10 p.m. I decide to begin driving home still $100 down.

I "catch my second wind" on my drive home and decide to stop at the "Village Club" card room (about 4 miles from my home) to play "a $200 rack of chips" on the 8/16 limit hold-em table.

The 8/16 game there is usually a tough game with good players, and my plan is to either "double up" my buy-in or leave after a rack loss.

However, the 8/16 game always has a "waiting list", so I am directed to a "short-handed" 3/6 limit hold'em game until my 8/16 seat comes available. At this table there are three regulars, three I don't recognize, and a "drunk" with a "huge stack" in front of him. It was all won at this table by playing almost every single hand and raising almost every hand, (between ordering beers.)

I buy-in for $80 and on my very first hand, my cards are 10c & Qc.

I am behind the button and by the time it comes to me there are 5 callers. So I call, and the drunk raises, someone else raises, and it is capped for $12 with over $80 already in the pot. The flop comes Ac,Kc,10h.

I now have a pair of 10's, and one club needed for the best possible flush. By the time the pot comes to me it has been raised, so I re-raise and the "drunk" caps it again. The turn comes Qd.

Now, beside the best flush possiblity, I have two pair and with one of 15 possible cards could end up with , a straight, a full-house or a royal flush. The betting continues and my entire buy-in, is now in a pot, that is over $400 at a 3/6 table! The river card is a 7s.
(As you can probably guess the drunk had Js, & 2h winning that pot as he had many others with very bad starting cards.)

I re-buy $60 more and prepare to take him on again. I watch player after player self-destruct by playing many-many not-so-good hands against the "drunk's" really bad hands. He continues to beat them with worse cards including beating me, with a loose 9/10 starting hand I played him with.

It is almost like people are thinking "I can play "weak hands" and get my money back, because he is playing such horrible hands. "

Finally, with a calm detached focus I realize that I can get my money back from him, by playing my best game, and only really good hands. An hour later, he has no money, and myself and the others who took that approach had our money back from his stack. I realized in this illustration that I do "know how to beat the game" and it is all about playing good poker against others who play less then good poker and you will win eventually. That became illustration number 2 for me this day.

The 3rd illustration occurred when I got in my 8/16 and played against 7 really good players, and 2 others that played fairly well. In a couple of hours of small flucurations by playing "really tight" I was up a $100 and decided to go home completly even for this trip.

I didn't make any money, but I feel like I learned and re-learned some really very valuable lessons on this poker trip.

I had about a day to enjoy the feelings and thoughts of the above when I began playing on-line tonight. My on-line poker stories are another matter and ones I will talk about at another time.

Except for this one......
Tonight on-line on Party-Poker.....

I played a $30 one-table tournament and placed 3rd for $50

Then I bought into a $10 multi-table tournament and lost the 2nd hand of the tournament with KJ against a KQ.

Then this third tournament for $20 began where I began playing with a feeling that I was going to do very well in it. After the first three hands then I folded, I came up on my first big blind and the following hand occurred.

I had 10d Ac. The blinds are 15. I am the big blind and come in with no raise with two other callers. The flop comes Kd, 3d, Qc. Giving me a "gutshot" straight draw. The small blind bets $60 the size of the pot. I call the $60 intending to leave if there is a raise and the button just calls. The turn card comes Jc giving me a "straight to the Ace." The small blind goes all-in for 860 the amount I have left. There is no pair and no flush possiblity on the table so I call all-in, and another Jh comes on the river giving his QJ a full house of jacks overs queens. I have had about 6 or 7 beats just like that in the last week. That is when it is hard not to think "there is a design in the universe that is out to keep me from winning at poker".

Well, look like I am back to "dealing with the inner demons"...